How do you know if the person you are planning to marry is "THE ONE"? There are many questions to be answered before making a decision to marry someone. Deciding to get married is not something to be taken lightly. There are several things to consider when determining whether you and your partner are ready for this commitment. As a couple, compatibility leads to a healthy marriage. Pre-Marital Counseling may be something you would like to consider and I can help you with that.
How do you really know if you have found Mr. or Mrs. Right? Do you believe when you see the person you are supposed to marry, you will know instantly? Do you feel that you may have already walked past your future mate? How will you know when you meet the right person, and how will you know if it is meant to be? Is it the color of their hair or eyes, the way they look at you, the attention they give you? Their smile? Their honesty, courage? Level of commitment? Maybe you believe you will not every truly know if the person you have found is who you are destined to be with, but you have found someone and you think you will be happy with them for the rest of your life.
If you are going to get married, it will help you to ask the following questions. Are you comfortable with this person, no matter what environment you are in, no matter what you would like to share with them? Do you know how best to communicate with this person? How do the two of you feel about your sexual intimacy? Are there questions regarding having an open relationship? Do you feel comfortable telling your future mate what you like to do or have done to you sexually? Have you figured out how you will share responsibilities for your finances? Do you both want children, naturally or adopted? What happens if you find you cannot conceive? Where are you wanting to live and raise a family? How will the grandparents be involved? How do you see your careers supporting one another? These are only the beginning questions when you are considering marrying someone. If you can begin to answer these questions, you are eliminating a lot of stress and hard times down the road.
Getting married is serious business. Successful marriages are not the norm these days. There is no perfect marriage. Marriage was never expected or intended to be easy. It's work. If stepping into marriage is done with a well thought out plan, mutual goals and clear honest communication, you have a good chance at having a successful marriage. This is why people engage in Pre-Marital Counseling. Have you decided if you will bring children into this relationship and how you might parent them if you do? Although children can add a level of enjoyment to ones life, they also bring much stress and a need for compromise with your partner. Have you chosen someone who will hang in there with you when the going gets rough? Will they help you parent and what does that look like? See, serious business right?
Often times people will jump into a marriage thinking, "You know, when it's not fun anymore, I'm out". What does that mean? How much fun are you willing to sacrifice for the marriage? There will no doubt be fun times, but what about the times that are sad, aggravating? Have you chosen someone who will be with you through those times too? Is there someone in your life who has had a successful marriage? Talk to them, hear what they have done to be successful.
With a commitment as large as marriage, here are some things to consider. Do you have similar goals for the future? Do you have individual goals that you can support each other in achieving? When you take a step back and look at your "potential mate", do you see anything that you worry you can't live with for the rest of your life? Not just physically, but how they respond to you or others, their interesting quirks. How does your partner handle stress, illness, finances? Can you live with that? Take a step back and look at yourself. Can you give your time, emotional wealth, interest and love to this person even when things are rough?
Similar goals and desires lead to a happy marriage. Working toward and accomplishing goals together strengthens your tie. Accomplishing tasks together; building a deck, buying a house, starting a business, building up a savings account. These can be very rewarding when you accomplish them with a partner. It's also important to go into a marriage remembering you are your own person, with your own personal goals. Having a spouse who recognizes this and supports you in your own goals also strengthens a marriage. Goals give you something to talk about. A common goal makes you collaborate, always practicing your skills at interpersonal communication with each other. Discussing goals is important before getting married. It will open your eyes to potential problems or may solidify your wish to remain with this person.
If you would like help going through all of this and shedding light on any potential issues before making this leap, please commit to a 6 week process with me. We will discuss all of this and more. We will determine where your weak points are and put a plan in place to build a strong foundation.
Insurance does not cover Pre-Marital counseling. My session fee is $120 per session and we will meet 1x per week for 6 weeks.
Please call to schedule your first appointment, 360-524-2045.